Surrogacy after Cancer: One Couple's Story

Philip and Manjusha discussed many family planning options, including surrogacy and adoption. But in the fall of 2015, the Abrahams traveled to a wine festival in Hermann, Missouri, with another married couple – Jerod and Carissa Stanton. The 4 toasted to the end of Manjusha's chemotherapy.

That's when Carissa stepped forward and offered to carry the Abraham's embryo.

"We were floored," recalls Manjusha.

"We couldn't say no," adds Philip.

Carissa Stanton, MD, knows a bit about pregnancy. She's the former medical director of the full-term nursery at The University of Kansas Health System and had mentored Manjusha during her pediatrics residency.

Carissa and Jerod have 3 children of their own.

"Our family was complete, so we wanted to help Phil and Manju make the family they deserve," she says

Manjusha and Philip were living and working in St. Louis, Missouri, while Carissa was carrying their unborn baby in Kansas City, Missouri. But despite a 240-mile separation, the Abrahams and Carissa stayed in touch using Facetime. They also traveled back to Kansas City for important appointments.

"Knowing [our baby] was being carried by Carissa gave us peace of mind," Philip says.

When Carissa was 35 weeks along, Philip and Manjusha came to Kansas City for a baby shower in their honor. Early the next morning, they received the call: Carissa was at the hospital. Their baby, Nathan, was born later that day, February 17, 2018.

Nathan stayed briefly in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Then, the Abraham family was on their way back home to St. Louis.

Philip laughs, "We came back from our baby shower with a baby."

Now, with the birth of their son, the Abrahams want to send a positive message about surrogacy to others who may be unable to carry a pregnancy.

"Young women going through chemo and cancer treatments, who want to start a family, need hope," Manjusha says. "They need to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a long tunnel, but once you get there, there are options."

"We had so many hurdles," says Philip. "But Nathan amazes us. We were very fortunate."

Offering to carry another person's pregnancy is a generous, yet complicated, decision. Donating an egg is even more personal. Some women volunteer to carry for a family member or friend. Some women request payment for their services. It's important to know there are many legal issues with third-party reproduction and each state has its own laws about surrogacy.

Typical requirements:

• Healthy woman
• Age 21-45
• Nonsmoker
• Surrounded by family support
• Financially stable
• No criminal background
• Completed at least one full-term pregnancy, and no more than 5 vaginal deliveries and 2 cesarean deliveries

Our advanced reproductive team is well-versed in the medical, legal and financial issues of surrogacy. We assist people who have found their own surrogates – like the Abrahams – as well as those who need to connect with a carrier.